Falling into a relationship is easy, but maintaining a
relationship requires delicate care and skills. The process
can be likened to tending to your garden and keeping a
garden of beautiful roses which will turn heads around.

The task of creating and building that magical relationship
does not come easy but is not difficult if you would just
learn the right ways to build a harmonious relationship that
lasts.

Find out what could trigger fight in a relationship and how
to settle them to avoid all those pain and heartache and
unnecessary misunderstandings which might eventually ruin a
relationship.

(1) You want to win all time, giving in is losing your stand
Nobody likes to lose. Losing hurts our ego, and it will do
all it can to defend itself, to fight for itself, and to
argue its way through until it makes sure that it gets its
way. However, this hurts your partner's ego too. It, too,
wants to defend itself, fight for itself, and to argue its
way through. It simply will not let go. So if you want to
stop the fighting, you have to be the one to initiate that!
Better still, keep quiet. Your partner will soon stop
fighting once he/she is not able to find anyone to reason or
fight with when you just keep quiet.

(2) One of you is insistent in doing things your own way .
Each of us always has reasons for doing certain things. If
you do not like what you see in your partner's attitude or
behavior, change that, within you! Change your perceptions
about what you are seeing and how you think about it! You
might not be able to change your partner, but you can change
how you feel inside of you. You can offer your suggestions,
your opinions, but try not to go against their person. Let
them know that it is their behavior or attitude that you are
against, but not against their persons. Always remember, if
you live your life always wanting to change other people,
you never learn to see the goodness or beauty of people and
things around you.

(3) You or your spouse is under pressure or stress
We tend to vent our anger or frustrations that we have over
somebody or something on our spouse or lover, whether we do
it consciously or unconsciously. If your spouse is the one
under stress or pressure, try to see from their point of
view. Instead of starting a fight for no real reasons, try
to help them cope with the frustration or problems they are
facing. It is useful to remind yourself that you can lend a
listening ear. If you are the one having any stress or
encountering difficulties, it is a good idea to let your
spouse know so he or she could try to see from your point of
view too and to share your burden. In short, do not keep
everything to yourself.

(4) One of you is not sensitive to your partner's feelings
If your spouse or lover is insensitive to your feelings, you
would think that they do not care or that they are
ignorant. So you question them and start picking a fight. Be
aware! You are solely responsible for your own feelings.
Your spouse or your lover does not owe you your feelings.
Let them know how you feel should they do something which
you deem undesirable and unpleasant. Open up and talk to
your partner. Focus on effective communication instead.

Always remember that patience and tolerance is not a sign of
weakness, but a sign of strength. To start a fight and to
sustain a fight you need another person to fight with. Thus
if you really, really, really want to stop a fight. Be the
person who wants to stop it and just let go of all your
frustration and anger. Your spouse or lover cannot continue
fighting if there is no other person for them to fight
against. It takes two hands to make a clapping sound! Remind
yourself, if you do not want the clapping sound, you can
just remove one of your hands. Who makes the decision? You!

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